Deferred Dreams
I remember, as a young teen, my life being turned upside down when my dad gave up the best job he’d ever had and surrendered to the ministry fulltime. My parents sold their home, all their worldly things, even the few diamonds they had, moved into a small apartment and put everything into starting a mission which is still known today as “The River City Mission”. Why would someone give up everything they had to help people down on their luck? Dad once told me that he now understood why God permitted him to do the things he’d done in his past. So when he’d finally surrender to HIM, he could use those mistakes to relate to the very people God would call him to minister to. He would be more equipped to empathize with them in their lives. He’d always tell them, “If God could forgive me, than He can forgive anybody and turn their life around, if they would let Him.”
I had been saved as a teen but giving up everything for service was not something I understood much less wanted for my life (this was not my life’s dream). My dream was to get married, have children and live happily ever after. But I soon realized that sometimes those dreams change regardless of how hard you try to hold on to them. A year after graduation I married the first guy to say yes and soon found myself in an abusive relationship that ended in divorce. The only good to come of it was God blessed me with a wonderful daughter to love and cherish, who has since given me adorable grandchildren to love and hold close to my heart. The blessings of God are more than we can imagine, and come in many wonderful ways.
After the divorce I found myself trying to figure out what my life was all about. I knew that God would provide for us, I had seen His provisions in my parents’ lives; I just wasn’t sure how He would work in mine. I began helping out at the same mission I had, in my younger years, wanted little part of. (My Mom and Dad had sold everything they owned materially and started this mission work trusting God to work things out for them as they served him with all they had) It’s funny how God puts you in situations that eventually you realize you were meant to be in all along.
In 1978, I married the love of my life and continued serving in the mission ministry as a family, only now…fulltime. Two years later my youngest daughter was born. God had blessed me far beyond what I could have envisioned. Although we didn’t have jobs making lots of money, we had wealth of a different kind...making a difference in someone else’s lives and bringing others to HIM. My lifelong dream was complete and I felt I was where God meant for me to be, and HE was blessing our little family. It didn’t take long for Satan to interfere in what turned out to be a 24 yr battle with him. I remember thinking so many times, “Lord…why would you allow this to happen to “me” when all I’ve ever asked for was a husband to love and serve you with. I couldn’t understand why he was allowing my dream to fall apart. I prayed for God to turn my husband’s life around and HE wasn’t answering my prayers. I finally realized that God can put you in positions to change your life, but he doesn’t make you change…that’s our choice. Those that love you, even your spouse, can’t want it bad enough to change it for you. So my marriage of 24 yrs ended.
I was a single woman again (only older) when all I had ever desired was to be married and my children were once again without a dad. My father, who had always been my strength and a “constant” presence in my girls’ lives, went home to be with the Lord the same year. Life had never been so hard for me and yet, in time, I learned to trust God to take care of things. I still wonder and worry how the choices I made would affect my kids, but I have to trust that God will take care of that also. I had finally began to realize that although I had never wanted to be single, I was in a place in my life spiritually to say, “God, if this is what you have for me, then I’m ok with it” The peace HE gives you when you finally give HIM control is like removing a heavy weight you’ve carried around for so long.
Time passed and even though my family encouraged me, I wasn’t able to date again. I was still in love with my ex-husband, but knew that the dream I had with him was no longer possible. In 2005, the one I had thought I’d grow old with died from cancer. A part of me died with him and I felt that I surely would never fall in love again.
Then God opened the door and brought Robert into my life, I then realized He had a plan for me all along. God has allowed me to love again and has blessed me with a wonderful Christian man to serve Him with and my life is happier than I could ever have imagined. It’s taken me many years to learn the lessons I’ve learned, but I would like to share some of them with you.
I have learned that you can’t change someone that doesn’t want to be changed. God’s timing is not necessarily the same as ours. HE knows us better than we know ourselves. Our job is to serve HIM and leave the rest to HIM. We need to trust God in all times, in the good times and the bad. Last but not least; HE is working all things for good to those that serve HIM whether you can see it now or not.
submitted by: Debbie E.
I had been saved as a teen but giving up everything for service was not something I understood much less wanted for my life (this was not my life’s dream). My dream was to get married, have children and live happily ever after. But I soon realized that sometimes those dreams change regardless of how hard you try to hold on to them. A year after graduation I married the first guy to say yes and soon found myself in an abusive relationship that ended in divorce. The only good to come of it was God blessed me with a wonderful daughter to love and cherish, who has since given me adorable grandchildren to love and hold close to my heart. The blessings of God are more than we can imagine, and come in many wonderful ways.
After the divorce I found myself trying to figure out what my life was all about. I knew that God would provide for us, I had seen His provisions in my parents’ lives; I just wasn’t sure how He would work in mine. I began helping out at the same mission I had, in my younger years, wanted little part of. (My Mom and Dad had sold everything they owned materially and started this mission work trusting God to work things out for them as they served him with all they had) It’s funny how God puts you in situations that eventually you realize you were meant to be in all along.
In 1978, I married the love of my life and continued serving in the mission ministry as a family, only now…fulltime. Two years later my youngest daughter was born. God had blessed me far beyond what I could have envisioned. Although we didn’t have jobs making lots of money, we had wealth of a different kind...making a difference in someone else’s lives and bringing others to HIM. My lifelong dream was complete and I felt I was where God meant for me to be, and HE was blessing our little family. It didn’t take long for Satan to interfere in what turned out to be a 24 yr battle with him. I remember thinking so many times, “Lord…why would you allow this to happen to “me” when all I’ve ever asked for was a husband to love and serve you with. I couldn’t understand why he was allowing my dream to fall apart. I prayed for God to turn my husband’s life around and HE wasn’t answering my prayers. I finally realized that God can put you in positions to change your life, but he doesn’t make you change…that’s our choice. Those that love you, even your spouse, can’t want it bad enough to change it for you. So my marriage of 24 yrs ended.
I was a single woman again (only older) when all I had ever desired was to be married and my children were once again without a dad. My father, who had always been my strength and a “constant” presence in my girls’ lives, went home to be with the Lord the same year. Life had never been so hard for me and yet, in time, I learned to trust God to take care of things. I still wonder and worry how the choices I made would affect my kids, but I have to trust that God will take care of that also. I had finally began to realize that although I had never wanted to be single, I was in a place in my life spiritually to say, “God, if this is what you have for me, then I’m ok with it” The peace HE gives you when you finally give HIM control is like removing a heavy weight you’ve carried around for so long.
Time passed and even though my family encouraged me, I wasn’t able to date again. I was still in love with my ex-husband, but knew that the dream I had with him was no longer possible. In 2005, the one I had thought I’d grow old with died from cancer. A part of me died with him and I felt that I surely would never fall in love again.
Then God opened the door and brought Robert into my life, I then realized He had a plan for me all along. God has allowed me to love again and has blessed me with a wonderful Christian man to serve Him with and my life is happier than I could ever have imagined. It’s taken me many years to learn the lessons I’ve learned, but I would like to share some of them with you.
I have learned that you can’t change someone that doesn’t want to be changed. God’s timing is not necessarily the same as ours. HE knows us better than we know ourselves. Our job is to serve HIM and leave the rest to HIM. We need to trust God in all times, in the good times and the bad. Last but not least; HE is working all things for good to those that serve HIM whether you can see it now or not.
submitted by: Debbie E.